For some reason, I could not sleep past 5am today.  I guess my son yelling downstairs to ask my mother-in-law why she was up so early and did she know it was only 5am, was the reason I woke up in the first place.  Apparently, she did not know it was that early and I can hear her snoring away two hours later. As for me, I decided to get up and get a chance to see yet another snowstorm before it ended early enough to be missed by normal people sleeping normal hours.

     So, for the past two hours, I have eaten breakfast, folded clothes, and sewn a hem in a pair of pants while watching "I Love Lucy" reruns.  Although I used to love this show, I felt very uncomfortable watching it again for the first time after all these years.  The dynamics between men and women 50 years ago was hard to watch.  I saw Lucy making breakfast, lunch, and dinner, ironing, cleaning, and obeying every command Ricky made.  He came home from work and napped before dinner. He handled all the money and she had to account for the amount she asked for and what she spent.  Some of their arguments were painful because it was obvious there was not a partnership because Ricky always had the final say.  Her little attempts at defiance were meant to be funny, but the important things in their lives were always decided by the "man of the house."

     My dad never wanted my mom to learn to drive, so she did it on her own.  He was not happy.  He did not want her to get a job.  She did it anyway, and loved it.  She worked part time in the evening after dad got home.  He was not happy. She still cooked, cleaned, ironed, and took care of four children, but her life was enriched by getting out to work with people her own age and having her own money.  She was a better mother because of it.

     It amazes me how far men and women have come through the years.  Most men definitely participate more in household chores and are more involved with their children.  Of course, this may have something to do with the fact that most women work outside of the home today and are not willing to do everything else that needs to be done to maintain a home. This was always a bone of contention between my husband and me. I worked and still had to do everything around the house.  He never wanted to help with chores. I believe he didn't know how he was supposed to behave or how to help, although I told him many times.  I was so angry all the time.

    Unfortunately, we are what we see.  He was raised by a mother who took orders from her husband and her two sons.  She never worked and all her time was spent keeping a perfect house.  She never had an outside interest, had no desire to travel, and never participated in anything involving school or community.  He assumed all women were like this and had a bit of a rude awakening when he married me and asked me to get up to get him a glass of milk soon after we were married.  I don't remember my exact response, but I know it was one he will never forget.  Then my mother-in-law told me I was his wife and a very cold person, and proceeded to get him what he asked for.  I must mention we lived with my in-laws for a couple of years while we saved money for a house. His mother continued to wait on him because I refused.  I refused and he was very confused because I was defusing his notion about women.

     I'm sure many women would love to be able to stay home just because it's nice to be able to do what we want, whenever we want, and it's easier to take care of children and the home if we have all day.  In the world we live in today, it is not often possible.  I don't know many women who have the luxury of keeping the money they make if they work at a job that pays them.  At least some of it goes toward the bills, or groceries, or something for the children. In today's world, most families require two incomes.  Of course, I've often told my husband we don't need two cars, or 800 channels, or heat and air conditioning.  He disagrees, and I let him win on this one.  I do pick my battles, but I don't see how people got away with one car years ago, and every person that drives in the family today needs a car.  He doesn't work anymore, why does he need a car?  Can't we be a little inconvenienced and drive each other where we need to go, or schedule our time around the use of the car?  He tells me I'm cheap and unreasonable.  Maybe.  But, when there is a shortage of money, compromises are necessary.  We will never agree on this one.  Life is difficult sometimes and rarely fair.  I think we can all agree on that!