Let's talk about butts, baby. Let's talk about you and me. That's the bum, the bottom portion of our bodies, the hiney, the buttocks, the gluteus maximus, with "maximus" being the key word. Butt's seem like they are becoming more popular these days, and the bigger ones are revered.
The derriere comes in different shapes and sizes, as we are aware, but now they are now compared to Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Sophia Vergara. These are curvy women with ample bottoms. Am I to assume the meatier butt is considered stylish and in demand today? Are we no longer trying to shrink our bodies down to the ambitious size 2? These butts will not fit into a size 2!
I am very pleased about this new development in body shape and I am very much in style! I have been called a bubble-butt in my younger days, but now that I have aged, I have been told I have a shelf-butt. This shape is excellent for carrying a tray with food or drinks. It sounds insulting, but could come in handy at a party when both hands are occupied. When we were younger this would have been a great place to put the baby instead of those awkward baby backpacks.
It appears that I am always slanted forward with this shelf-butt no matter how much I try to appear standing straight. The thing just gets in the way, but makes an excellent cushion. Lying on my stomach, the cat enjoys the extra padding, and I can sit for long periods of time without fear of a sore bottom. If I happen to slip and land on my bottom, there are no worries! I could probably bounce right back up without injury!
So, women, embrace your butts! I know that is literally hard to do, so obviously I mean it figuratively. An ample butt gives us something to hold onto as we age. It distinguishes us from other women and creates a new work space for hands free living. It prevents injury and broken bones. The butt is a beautiful thing just like the women who own them. We do not judge women by their butts, but we do admire them. And like the song says, "fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round"!
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Love can be a beautiful thing, if we are with the right person. I know many excellent couples who have been married for over 20 years, still enjoy each others' company, and respect and support each other. I know other couples who couldn't wait to get married and realized after the "magical" wedding was over, life begins, and it isn't easy to maintain that passion.
I have been married for almost 36 years, and I realized early on it was going to be a struggle. Living with your in-laws for almost three years didn't help. If you can live through that, you can live through anything! I would not recommend doing that. We were both working and could afford a place of our own, but I don't think my husband was ready to leave his mother. So he had two women taking care of him, one doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry the way he liked, the other doing the other things men like, if you know what I mean? That's right. Sharing a life with his mother and still dating. His reasoning for this arrangement was to allow us to save for a house of our own. Two women in the same house sharing one man. I was young, what can I say? I was angry a lot, but we did save and eventually build our own home. I'm reasonably sure he didn't want to move. He had a pretty sweet thing going on.
Life and relationships are never easy and cannot be maintained unless each person works at it. When the children come, it gets even more crowded and emotions are divided. I remember my mom telling me after she had her first child, my dad was a little jealous. Mom used to shine his shoes and lay out his clothes for work. When the baby came, she had less time to devote to her husband. Of course, he was a great dad, eventually understood, and proceeded to have three more kids after the first one arrived. My husband was in shock after our first arrived and had difficulty with the realization he was a dad and totally responsible for another human being!
It has taken years for us to adjust to new adventures in life and learn to depend on each other for support. We have a good relationship because I have maintained a little independence and always make time for my friends and family. My whole life used to be wrapped around his and the children. Most decisions were made by him. But, I have never liked being told what to do, and when he realized one day I was doing things my way for once, he was not happy. He has accepted who I am now, that I like doing things without him sometimes and I am happy, but he liked things the way they were before I made any objections. Now our biggest conflict is deciding whether to get hardwood floors or new rugs. I don't want rugs. This may be a bigger hurdle than I originally thought!
Marriage is a lot of give and take and it should be equal on both sides. There is pain, joy, compassion, and compromise. In the heart of it is remembering the love that brought us together. It doesn't die, it just gets buried in the weeds if no one is pulling them out to help it grow. Anger is passion, but it should not override love. Get on with the anger, work through it, and remember the person you committed to love in your vows. Anger is the reason for gun control, so married couples should not own one. We might forget in the heat of the moment who we are aiming for!
Knives should be locked up too. I once threatened my husband with one. He never knew before he locked himself in the bedroom that it was only a butter knife. I'm afraid of real knives, and never even use a big one to chop vegetables! He told me I was crazy, and maybe at that moment I was. But, he never did whatever it was that made me so angry again!
Therefore, as spring continues to renew life around us, and the sun gets warmer, remember to breath some life into all our relationships. Forget yesterday, and look at the new life ahead. If we were all more tolerant, we could end wars! I know that is an ambitious thought, so lets just start at home. Life is not that different for any of us.
I have been married for almost 36 years, and I realized early on it was going to be a struggle. Living with your in-laws for almost three years didn't help. If you can live through that, you can live through anything! I would not recommend doing that. We were both working and could afford a place of our own, but I don't think my husband was ready to leave his mother. So he had two women taking care of him, one doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry the way he liked, the other doing the other things men like, if you know what I mean? That's right. Sharing a life with his mother and still dating. His reasoning for this arrangement was to allow us to save for a house of our own. Two women in the same house sharing one man. I was young, what can I say? I was angry a lot, but we did save and eventually build our own home. I'm reasonably sure he didn't want to move. He had a pretty sweet thing going on.
Life and relationships are never easy and cannot be maintained unless each person works at it. When the children come, it gets even more crowded and emotions are divided. I remember my mom telling me after she had her first child, my dad was a little jealous. Mom used to shine his shoes and lay out his clothes for work. When the baby came, she had less time to devote to her husband. Of course, he was a great dad, eventually understood, and proceeded to have three more kids after the first one arrived. My husband was in shock after our first arrived and had difficulty with the realization he was a dad and totally responsible for another human being!
It has taken years for us to adjust to new adventures in life and learn to depend on each other for support. We have a good relationship because I have maintained a little independence and always make time for my friends and family. My whole life used to be wrapped around his and the children. Most decisions were made by him. But, I have never liked being told what to do, and when he realized one day I was doing things my way for once, he was not happy. He has accepted who I am now, that I like doing things without him sometimes and I am happy, but he liked things the way they were before I made any objections. Now our biggest conflict is deciding whether to get hardwood floors or new rugs. I don't want rugs. This may be a bigger hurdle than I originally thought!
Marriage is a lot of give and take and it should be equal on both sides. There is pain, joy, compassion, and compromise. In the heart of it is remembering the love that brought us together. It doesn't die, it just gets buried in the weeds if no one is pulling them out to help it grow. Anger is passion, but it should not override love. Get on with the anger, work through it, and remember the person you committed to love in your vows. Anger is the reason for gun control, so married couples should not own one. We might forget in the heat of the moment who we are aiming for!
Knives should be locked up too. I once threatened my husband with one. He never knew before he locked himself in the bedroom that it was only a butter knife. I'm afraid of real knives, and never even use a big one to chop vegetables! He told me I was crazy, and maybe at that moment I was. But, he never did whatever it was that made me so angry again!
Therefore, as spring continues to renew life around us, and the sun gets warmer, remember to breath some life into all our relationships. Forget yesterday, and look at the new life ahead. If we were all more tolerant, we could end wars! I know that is an ambitious thought, so lets just start at home. Life is not that different for any of us.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
"Don't get old, kid!" Good advice from an old man I met in a supermarket once. He was having difficulty walking, using the cart for support, and bagging and lifting his purchases. Then he couldn't remember where he parked his car. That scared me. This man was still driving and could barely walk. Where was his family? Did he have any family who could step in and do what needed to be done for this sweet man? I often worried about elderly people I would see out and about who obviously had difficulty doing the things that wear a younger person out, like shopping.
Now, I would love to follow his advice and not get old, but I'm not ready for the alternative. Although my life is very boring compared to other people I know, I still like the fact that I'm living it!
Recently I had a discussion with a friend about the difficulties of sleeping. I can't remember if I always had a problem, but it seems sleep often escapes me the older I get. Her solution is to get a little exercise every day and use a "blankie". That's what I said. Just like babies love their "blankie", she has a nice soft blankie she wraps herself in and holds against her cheek. It is relaxing for her and helps her to sleep. I told her I don't have a blankie, but I have a cat that is soft and curls up by my side when I go to sleep. I pet her soft fur until my carpal tunnel starts to hurt and my bursitis in that shoulder acts up. Then I turn to my side to prevent my knee from aching through the night. Don't get old?? Are you kidding me? Can't wait to see how I feel in 20 more years!
It seems we revert back to the things that comforted us when we were children, soft blankets, our animals, and sitting in the warm sunshine with our animal crackers in the summer. (Well, that hasn't happened yet, but it's coming!!) I guess I always knew this subconsciously, but gradually, I'm realizing I'm starting to live like an older person. In my head, I still think I'm 20 something and want to hang out with my young friends. I often have to remind myself they probably don't want to be with someone my age. Although I am tons of fun and they love me, I just don't look their age and it would put a damper on their evening to be with someone who looks like their mom!
Therefore, on this April 1, I have to wonder who I'm fooling by thinking I will never get old. We all get older every day. I remember looking in the mirror one day in my early 40's and saying right out loud, "What the hell is that, and when did that happen!?!" It seemed overnight I developed a different face. An older face. Maybe we can call it "a face of wisdom." I didn't like it, but I'm getting used to it. I obviously have no choice at this point.
April Fool my foot! This is no joke! You will all be there one day, so enjoy the ride until then. After all, as you know, we are really not that different!
Now, I would love to follow his advice and not get old, but I'm not ready for the alternative. Although my life is very boring compared to other people I know, I still like the fact that I'm living it!
Recently I had a discussion with a friend about the difficulties of sleeping. I can't remember if I always had a problem, but it seems sleep often escapes me the older I get. Her solution is to get a little exercise every day and use a "blankie". That's what I said. Just like babies love their "blankie", she has a nice soft blankie she wraps herself in and holds against her cheek. It is relaxing for her and helps her to sleep. I told her I don't have a blankie, but I have a cat that is soft and curls up by my side when I go to sleep. I pet her soft fur until my carpal tunnel starts to hurt and my bursitis in that shoulder acts up. Then I turn to my side to prevent my knee from aching through the night. Don't get old?? Are you kidding me? Can't wait to see how I feel in 20 more years!
It seems we revert back to the things that comforted us when we were children, soft blankets, our animals, and sitting in the warm sunshine with our animal crackers in the summer. (Well, that hasn't happened yet, but it's coming!!) I guess I always knew this subconsciously, but gradually, I'm realizing I'm starting to live like an older person. In my head, I still think I'm 20 something and want to hang out with my young friends. I often have to remind myself they probably don't want to be with someone my age. Although I am tons of fun and they love me, I just don't look their age and it would put a damper on their evening to be with someone who looks like their mom!
Therefore, on this April 1, I have to wonder who I'm fooling by thinking I will never get old. We all get older every day. I remember looking in the mirror one day in my early 40's and saying right out loud, "What the hell is that, and when did that happen!?!" It seemed overnight I developed a different face. An older face. Maybe we can call it "a face of wisdom." I didn't like it, but I'm getting used to it. I obviously have no choice at this point.
April Fool my foot! This is no joke! You will all be there one day, so enjoy the ride until then. After all, as you know, we are really not that different!
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