Let's talk about butts, baby.  Let's talk about you and me. That's the bum, the bottom portion of our bodies, the hiney, the buttocks, the gluteus maximus, with "maximus" being the key word.  Butt's seem like they are becoming more popular these days, and the bigger ones are revered. 

The derriere comes in different shapes and sizes, as we are aware, but now they are now compared to Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Sophia Vergara.  These are curvy women with ample bottoms.  Am I to assume the meatier butt is considered stylish and in demand today?  Are we no longer trying to shrink our bodies down to the ambitious size 2? These butts will not fit into a size 2!

I am very pleased about this new development in body shape and I am very much in style!  I have been called a bubble-butt in my younger days, but now that I have aged, I have been told I have a shelf-butt.  This shape is excellent for carrying a tray with food or drinks.  It sounds insulting, but could come in handy at a party when both hands are occupied.  When we were younger this would have been a great place to put the baby instead of those awkward baby backpacks.

It appears that I am always slanted forward with this shelf-butt no matter how much I try to appear standing straight.  The thing just gets in the way, but makes an excellent cushion.  Lying on my stomach, the cat enjoys the extra padding, and I can sit for long periods of time without fear of a sore bottom.  If I happen to slip and land on my bottom, there are no worries!  I could probably bounce right back up without injury!

So, women, embrace your butts!  I know that is literally hard to do, so obviously I mean it figuratively. An ample butt gives us something to hold onto as we age.  It distinguishes us from other women and creates a new work space for hands free living.  It prevents injury and broken bones. The butt is a beautiful thing just like the women who own them. We do not judge women by their butts, but we do admire them.  And like the song says, "fat bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round"!